Essay About Fear

Fear is something that everyone experiences throughout their lives. Fear makes your body tense, and you feel as if you do not know what to do. Young children experience having a fear of spiders and thunder and lightning. They cry and try to hide from the thing that scares them. As a child, you either grow out the fear that scares you or it sticks with you when you are an adult. Since I was little, my fear has been of needles which is called trypanophobia. A fear that I thought would never stick with me this long.

I’ve been afraid of needles for as long as I could remember. The thick, long needle that the nurse sticks in your arm when you go to the doctor’s office to get a vaccine. The strong smell of alcohol wipes, the nurse would use to wipe down my arm to make sure it was a sterile area before she sticks the needle in. I would get really sweaty and get tensed up as the nurse would come to stick the needle in. The nurse would be telling me to relax my arm and stop shrugging my shoulder up to my ears. To people who do not have a fear of needles, this fear might seem very funny or odd because I am in college studying to be a nurse. But at 20 years old, I would have thought that my fear of needles would be over by now, but instead, I am still closing my eyes as the nurse goes to stick the needle in my arm.

My fear of needles all started about thirteen years ago when my aunt and I had decided to feed this sick cat walking around my grandparents’ backyard. So, we decided to give it a bowl of fresh cat food. I went outside to give the big bowl of food to the cat, and I think I got a little too close for the cat’s comfort. The cat had decided to jump on top of me and scratched little marks into my back. My aunt called my grandparents in a panic because I was screaming and freaking out. They told my aunt to take me to St. Joseph’s Hospital to get looked at.

When we got to the hospital, the waiting room in the emergency department was quiet and mostly empty. As we waited for them to call my name, my mom and aunt were very nervous that the scratches from the cat were going to get me sick. As we were walking out back after they called my name, you could hear other people groaning and moaning in pain and another child screaming. I thought the child was screaming because they were getting a shot or something. I was so scared about being there because I was probably getting a shot. As we waited for the doctor to come see me, I kept asking my mom if they were going to give me a shot, and she kept saying I don’t know honey. Shortly after, a bunch of nurses and doctors came to look at my back. They made comments about all the scratches on my back saying like “oh that looks like that hurts or oh my goodness the poor child.” After looking at my back a couple of times, the doctor decided, it was best I get a series of rabies vaccines. This included getting four shots over the course of fourteen days. The first shot they gave me, I remember the nurse coming in with a tray with a big needle, some smelly alcohol wipes, and the Band-Aids with the smiley faces on them. They had to hold my arms and legs down to give me the first shot of the series. They had to put the shots in my tiny arms and legs and a couple in my bottom. At 7 years old, I was so confused about why I had to keep going back to get shots because of some small scratch marks on my back. At the time, I was beyond petrified about what was going on.

As I am getting older, I am not violently screaming or kicking or hiding. It is more just closing my eyes as the nurse is coming with the needle. I still hate smelling the alcohol wipes when I walk into the doctor’s office because it gives me flashbacks to that day in my childhood. Luckily, I have no scars from the incident to this day. Now it is just me trying to get myself to relax and take slow, deep breaths as the nurse has to give me all my shots for clinical at school or give me the flu vaccine.